stick 'em up!

There are many perks to being a student here. One of them being that we get really cool toys to play with. We're getting state of the art pretty much EVERYTHING including video equipment, digital cameras, computers, Cintiq monitors, a screening room that functions like a mini movie theater, a sound studio, and... a sticker machine. 

-pause for dramatic effect-

It's true.

I was so inspired by its arrival today that I did THIS:

printed out a picture of MOI!

cut myself out... 

like THIS...

and stuck me on the reindeer that lives alone on the door of the digital arts faculty office for mild entertainment.

Nice, huh? I highly recommend a reindeer ride. 

Colin loved it. He laughed anyway... and you know how people laugh when they really really love something...

grinning.

(insert pirate voice here)

ARGH!!!

I'm the most frustrated.

I've been contemplating these ideas of 'communication' lately. Particularly the one-way variety. I talked to Colin on Monday about my ideas regarding this collection of quotes that I have and how I might pursue them further. He suggested that perhaps in addition to looking at the quotes themselves that I also look at the moments that these exchanges are taking place. I do like that idea, especially since it IS so one sided, but I immediately think of how that might be giving too much away... I don't necessarily want to tell the story about why "they will either follow you or fall on you" is relevant to me, but if my intent is to use the collection don't I kind of HAVE to address why it's relevant? I'm having a hard time getting to the next step... and with whether or not this is even worth my time. 

If there's anything I hate it's a waste of time...

SOMEBODY ego boost me... 

trade-offs

I guess I was mistaken when in a previous post I said I made up the word "scrummage."

check it out

I hate it when I'm wrong.

In spite of that rare oddity... today was a good day.

I heart today...

connection... lost?

Thinking about stamping these quotes into a book.
I'm not sure how interesting that is... although this stamp is like a mini letterpress- okay not really, but I find it very satisfying to use the tweezer like tool to carefully pluck each letter from its "case" and place it on the stamp's track.
At the moment I'm stamping them into one of those smaller (4 x 6) generic black PRO ART sketch books to see what a few stamped pages ends up looking like.

I kind of like it... but I think I want to make my own book. Even if it ends up being generic as well.
I think the stamp is a very impersonal way of delivering personal information.
I think there's even a rule regarding the etiquette on such subjects... invitations, announcements, etc... these things are generally expected to be hand written.
I like the stamp for this collection of quotes, though. It seems like a logical way to show them. At least for now. It feels anonymous.

Something about the transition from pulling these quotes from their original context (personal) to placing them onto a crisp white piece of paper using the same stamp, the same letters, the same ink, so that they all look... the same... (impersonal)
I dunno. It's an interesting juxtaposition (LOVE that word.)
I save these quotes because for one reason or another they stand out amongst the other SEVERAL thousand words I am bombarded with every day. Sometimes they're funny, and I think "I have to write that down." So I do.
Sometimes if I'm feeling particularly anxious about something I will overhear someone say something that seems almost to be the PERFECT advice... even though they weren't talking to me.
Ever tell someone a joke and hear the people 20 feet away start laughing hysterically? It's that kind of a thing.
A connection without a connection.
Personally impersonal.
To let YOU in on what I find interesting about them means to sort of deconstruct the whole collection to its barest bones. I'd do it for a number of reasons, but mainly because it would never be the same experience for you- even if you knew "why" I chose to keep the words I've kept. By deconstructing the whole thing I am changing the dynamic quite a bit, creating an entirely new experience that I hope is at least somewhat intriguing.
I am curious to know what kind of response looking through such a book woul elicit. Would you find the perfect advice within my compilation?
Would you connect without connecting? 


Will you connect at all?

okaaaay...

comfort food

post-its and a rubber stamp. hundreds of post-its. well... maybe tens of post-its...

you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

That's fine. You'll know soon enough.

It has occurred to me that the art I prefer to make is very personal. I don't mean like, it's MINE and therefore it's personal. More like flashes of the stuff I wouldn't normally expose.

(mental image of the "expose yourself to art" poster)

Maybe that's why it's hard for me sometimes... to... say what I want to say...

What a ridiculous and completely avoidable predicament. Again... I'm workin' on it.

I went to see Weezer last week. I forgot how much I love Weezer. Jadd commented on how "dialed in" they were and he was right. They sounded awesome and they looked like they were having the greatest time. Even from section 63 we could tell they were having fun.

At one point the stage went dark and someone brought out some kind of box, set it on a small table, opened it to reveal the red lining of a record player (remember those?)

The yummy sound of the needle on the record played and was followed shortly by the sound of a guitar playing a certain combination of notes that grabbed at my heart... ever have that?

It's not unlike hearing that song that you used to listen to over and over during that one pivotal point in your life. Yikes. It gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach... "what *IS* this?" I asked...

Turns out the song is called "Heart Songs" (aah... I get it.) and it's basically about all the songs that Rivers (I assume it's Rivers) has kept close to him... it's been stuck in my head for a week.

Anyway, the only reason I'm even writing about it is because I think it's an honest expression. And it reminds me of this notion I have of what we collect and how it reflects who we are.

We all have them... "heart songs" I mean. Songs that we go to for comfort.

Like french fries for the ears...

Have a grand evening...

"every day is garbage day"

sigh...
it's one of those funny things about living in NW Portland I guess...

So I go to move my car the other morning and look... garbage trucks in front of me... garbage trucks behind me... garbage, garbage, garbage, every day. 

EVERY DAY. 

EARLY every day.

Needless to say I'm not doing a lot of sleeping in.

That's fine because I like being up early. I love the light in the morning. Lots of people do so I don't feel like I'm addressing any kind of brilliant discovery or anything, but perhaps this tidbit of information is further insight into what kind of person I am, what kinds of things appeal to me, and then... maybe what kind of art I'd like to make. After all- that's the point.

Yesterday someone commented on my very particular way of observing and documenting things and people and... things. I suppose I should be taking a closer look at my own behavior because I think that's the third time in less than a week that someone has commented on that aspect of my work. 

Maybe that's my thing. Observing??? (Obsessing is more like it...) That seems so obvious though. How does one go about creating a body of work being a particularly obsessive observer and documenter?  

Since my last blog entry I went to a lecture over at PSU where Andrea Zittel talked about a large body of her work. She began her lecture with discussion about a study on circadian rhythms that was done years ago where a group of scientists observed the effects of time deprivation  on several human subjects. They put these people in caves and sort of documented...

(omg. instant realization: observing and documenting.)

 ... their behavior patterns over a period of time. She decided to do her own similar experiment because she said she had gone through her whole life wondering what the subjects' perspectives were... what it FELT like living without the awareness of time. 

Maybe I'm just not as in tune or aware of myself as I think I am, but I remember hearing about that same study (or maybe a similar study) when I was very very young and wondering the SAME thing. The results I remember hearing had to do with how much longer they slept, or stayed awake, etc... but I also wondered what the subjects had to say about their experience. What did it FEEL like living without being aware of the time?

Again this goes back to my thinking that these things I think are just blips of curiosity... and for some reason I guess I never think to explore them further? This ALSO goes back to my thinking that perhaps no one is interested in what I'm thinking...  

I'm hoping to change that. I mean... YOU'RE reading this, so.....

Tangent.

Andrea Zittel's piece on time deprivation and the way she talked about it was absolutely awesome. I particularly enjoyed her ability to freely admit that she started to go a little crazy. I like crazy... 

you can listen to her lecture HERE.  

So after her lecture I started- or continued, rather- thinking about some of the things that I'm interested in and how I might be able to scrumage (I made that word up- it's "scrounge" and "rummage" mashed together) up some sort of  courage to create something out of... say... my quote collection. My first reaction was to make a book and then my second reaction was that I'd most likely have to make an edition. I wish we had a letterpress studio up here. I asked Rebecca if she brought the type and presses up to Portland. She laughed and said she did... that she packed them on her bike, but I sensed some sarcasm there. I love sarcasm. She does it well. So... I may have to seek alternative options for that idea. OR I'll have to figure out how to borrow the type lab for a few weekends. Ideas, ideas...

Oh. New quote collected today actually came from ME:

"there's a man in my curls"

I debated for several moments whether or not I should explain that, but I think the beauty is in not knowing. I mean, for you... 

For me it's different.   

I guess that's true for most things and most people. It's different for everybody... what beauty is.

what "beautiful" is... 

you are.

what'd you say?

I like to collect quotes.
The well-known ones from famous people are great, but I'm more interested in collecting the interesting things that I hear in my every day life... the unexpected "gems" from the people I meet or pass by... the things that seem to stand out as somehow perfect and profound. Hearing a snipit of a conversation between strangers as they walk by can conjure up the greatest images and ideas. If you’re paying attention you can hear the answer to a question, the solution to a problem, or just a combination of words that seems to perfectly fit your state of mind. These are the things I collect. I collect them because they are the serendipitous sentiments that if spoken at any other moment would go unnoticed.

Looking back on them I realize that I don't ALWAYS remember exactly what context each blurb is taken from, but my collection tends to serve as a kind of diary or word album... (word album???) a sort of documentation of me, which is kind of funny considering that for the most part these are not things I've said, nor do they always pertain to me. I kept them because they were relevant… to me.
It’s the best kind of diary if you think about it… anyone could read it and it wouldn’t be a complete invasion.

yesterday I added a few more to my collection. I think the most interesting was:
"I'll be your monkey if you'll be my koala"
image conjuror, for sure.
It also perfectly exemplifies that Benny and Joon thing. (that "Benny and Joon thing" refers to a previous post).
Who KNOWS what that statement means, but I'm sure it made perfect sense to the person who said it.
I love that. Leaving so much to the imagination...

"it's always lunch hour when you're trying to complain"

Ain't THAT the truth.
Mackenzie just said that. 

He and I are the only ones in the studio right now and John (the head of maintenance??) just walked through. I asked him the question that's been burning in my mind since I got here:
"Can I have one of the squishy- butted chairs?"
He laughed at me.
I KNEW I shouldn't have asked. I should have just taken my chances... AND the squishy-butted chair.
These chairs, although I'm sure are quite comfortable for a lot of people, are NOT so comfortable for me. I'm in a studio for crying out loud and these chairs are made for people who sit still. Have you ever known ANYONE working in a studio to sit still? If the chair was even just a flat surface it would be better, but no- it's HARD and it's contoured so you have to sit in it a certain way. Read: NOT AT THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT. Otherwise your butt gets numb.
John sat in another chair across from me and looked at me like I was crazy, "The bottom is no harder than the BACK of it" he said. And that is exactly my point. Not to mention... my back would never go numb. My back isn't as heavy as my bottom so it's a moot point to say that the back of the chair is just as hard as the bottom... of the chair.
My argument is this:
The squishy-butted chairs are for lectures and meetings. Lectures and meetings that I'm SURE don't last nearly as long as the endless hours that I plan on being here. I am a STUDENT here at this University and I feel that if I had a comfortable chair I could be far more productive, therefore increasing the productivity of the university as well. It's a win-win if you ask me.

John said I could take it up with management. I might also add that management has PHENOMENAL chairs. AND... I just TRIED to take it up with management, but I think it's lunch hour... and as a wise man once said:

"it's always lunch hour when you're trying to complain"




In other news....
Yesterday I had to present my work (and my SELF) to my peers and Colin yesterday. I think it went well. Better than I had imagined, actually. I need to talk with my professors more about where I want to take my art. Colin drew some connections for me that I hadn't seen before. He also said told me that I'm not as "all over the place" as I think I am.
That's a GOOD THING, right?
Anyway, I'm thinking about things today... like maybe I'm not as "all over the place" as I think I am. What a lovely realization. And it's only Thursday!

I have high hopes for the weekend...
and I hope yours is lovely, too.

"5 miles, Karen?"

I drove to school today. There was a really cool REALLY long ribbon-like oil slick down my entire street.

I saw it from a different angle at first, as I crossed the street, and it reminded me of sound waves, which is kinda weird because I just put up a piece last week for the white stag's grand opening where I used sound waves as an abstracted self portrait.

I like how ideas tend to keep popping up once you've noticed them. Kind of like hearing a new word or a new song. You hear it once and then it just seems creepy how MANY times you'll hear it over again throughout the day/ week.

I parked on the 3rd floor. 3 is my favorite number. Today will be a good day.

I ran into a gentleman on my way to the white stag who I thought was talking to me, but... upon a closer more careful examination of the situation I realized he was definitely NOT talking to me. I'm quite certain he was not talking to anyone who ACTUALLY exists. I'm not at all frightened by people who talk to people that don't exist- even if they are heavily self medicated- as was the case with this guy... I'm actually really interested in what it is that these peeps are ACTUALLY experiencing. It reminds me of that movie "Benny and Joon." Did you see that movie? With Johnny Depp? (drooling...) There's a scene where Depp's character "Sam" meets Mary Stuart Masterson's character "Joon"  and her caretaker brother "Benny" for the first time officially... in their kitchen:

Sam says : "I'm Sam"

Benny: So I hear. I'm Benny

Sam: With an 'n'?

Benny: Yeah two of 'em. This is Joon.

Sam: With an 'n'?

Joon: One. You're out of your tree.

Sam: It's not my tree.

If you've seen the movie you'll remember that when Joon sees Sam for the first time (before above introduction) Sam is hanging out in a tree outside. They make eye contact, but that's it. Later when they are introduced everyone sort of looks at them like they're crazy because their interaction doesn't seem to make sense, but it made perfect sense to them. He WAS out of the tree- the tree that WASN'T his tree. It was a very sweet moment. I hope the directors did that on purpose to get people thinking.

I always think of that scene when I see those "crazy people" on the street.  Like today. The guy I passed by looked right through me with sleepy, blood shot eyes and asked, "5 miles, Karen?" Perhaps it should have creeped me out, but it didn't. 

So I brought some FLARE to the studio today. We've all been meaning to spice up this joint with artwork, etc... or FLARE. So today I grabbed these things as I walked out the door:

this is a pattern I made out of an "L" stamp... which I also made.

Obviously this is a reference to my name in lights.

I have a fascination with these guys... the Grateful Dead's "Trippin Bears." I have always wanted to know the significance behind these bears as an icon and although I've heard some really great (sometimes horrific) stories about Dead shows... I still have yet to learn "why the bear? Apparently you can collect these bears if you are like my father and buy Jerry Garcia ties. Each collectible is named after a Grateful Dead song ( I think) and a "birthday" that relates to a show that happened on the same date. This one happens to be MY birthday. Thanks, Dad!

I am teaching myself how to juggle.

Funny story: These are LITERALLY my friend's ex- boyfriend's balls.

I also brought lunch:

did you know that there is an ACTUAL dance called "chicken noodle soup?"

I'm still not certain as to what I'm going to do for my terminal project. I hate using the word "terminal." Maybe it's from my brief stint in the medical field where "terminal" was NOT something one would want to work towards... Anyway. I'm still kicking around ideas. I'm sure there' s a real OBVIOUS one right under my nose. I tend to over think things... over analyze... oh and over complicate things, so please don't worry too much for me... This is part of my process. You'll see. I've already spent too much time trying to "perfect" the way this page looks. Aesthetics are EVERYTHING, you know...   

"a huge crowd of blond people under water"

So I went to Dana Plautz's lecture: new media- what is it?

It was great. That's what.

Here's me sitting and listening intently:

She talked a lot about the commonalities between artists and scientists... it's funny because the things she touched on seem so obvious, but I'm not sure that everyone would make those same connections. Here's what she noted as the similarities:

- a dedication to exploration of the unknown

- experimentation

- observation

- analysis

- process of discovery

"duh" right? I'm sure my scientist friend is rolling her eyes right now as she reads this... I think we've actually talked a lot about how different yet the same our processes are. Anyway... the lecture was really great. Watched a brief video on 9 evenings (not the linked one, but...) which was also really great. You should too.

See if you can identify which part relates to the title of this blog. 

The whole thing got my brain working and I needed that. It's only day 2 of what "they say" is going to be a long weekend of rain. great. 

Oh... I saw a gentleman sitting next to Craig Hickman (a very accomplished artist and digital arts professor at the University of Oregon) who had THE MOST fabulous GREEN leather jacket draped over the back of his chair so I took a picture of it:



Turns out that's Robert Rauschenberg's son... how cool. I should have told him that I loved his jacket, but I didn't. (tell him, I mean.) I do love the jacket. 

It's day 5 of my first week in the bfa program. Friday. I'm headed back to Eugene this weekend to pick up my RABBIT who I miss dearly, as well as a few other things I couldn't fit into my car on my last trip. If you're reading this from the Eug, maybe you'll be lucky enough to see me on my brief return. Wouldn't that be something?

BFA week 1 is IN the can.

Hello, Portland... did you miss me?

It's day 4 of my first week in the bfa program. 

No major mishaps, although yesterday I had to throw my first fit when people tried to convince me that the place mats made out of rulers should sit underneath and be color coordinated with other objects in 'the dollar store hack' exhibit.

I know. Can you believe it?

Turns out it actually looks great. So I conceded. 

Here's a picture of me with Mac and Andrew after a hard day of work getting our studio ready for the public... and the fit.

We've only had a few classes this week- the focus is kind of geared towards the grand opening- but Colin and Zara are great. And I'm not just saying that because this blog is part of an assignment or anything. I mean.. it IS part of what's required, but they're great even outside of this blog. I feel pretty lucky to be surrounded by such fantastic people. 

As students we're all pretty different and everyone here seems to bring something very unique to the table and I like that. I'm hoping to be able to collaborate with one or more of these crazy new friends of mine. 

All in all I'm enjoying myself very much... my apartment (aka: the cutest apartment ever) still requires some unpacking and I feel a little disconnected from a few people who are still in Eugene, but this year has gobs and gobs of potential for greatness and I'm excited about that, taking the reigns, etc...